WRITING

My writing is diverse, often driven by the politics of the moment, a patient encounter that just won’t leave me, or sometimes, the relaxation of fiction. When I was in sixth grade I sat at our typewriter and wrote the first chapter of my first book and I have never stopped picking at the keys since, though my medical career has often meant publishing my writing got the back seat in a busy life.

PUBLICATIONS & OPINION PIECES

Over the past ten years I occasionally carve out some time to write opinion pieces. Most recently I have had two pieces as a guest writer for Kevin M.D. and have penned countless op-eds for newspapers over the years. There is a fine balance, in my roles as both physician and healthcare executive, in being an effective advocate versus a disregarded enthusiast.

 

LIMERICKS

I love a good rhyme and limericks are the most forgiving, fast-paced way to illustrate a point on the fly. Here are a sampling of a few limericks...but trust me, there's more where those came from...

 

STD clinic’s more fun when it’s juicy-
But history stinks when it’s loose-y goose-y.
Most important, I’ll say,
At the end of the day,
Is that patients just tell us the truth-y!

Where there’s myth I try to debunk it
As I ride the STD junket
So much can be got!
Nary symptom nor rot.
Folks are shocked, like they wouldn’t of thunk it.

I confess, some days, I am weary.
Why in the world would you be teary?
Eight new connections,
Not one with protection?
Big fail on that game theory!

One of the toughest “STD’s”, between us,
Cypridophobia* (I call “worried penis”)
Not a speck to behold
(But they just can’t be told)
This fear lives on Mars and Venus!

 

*CYPRIDOPHOBIA, is defined by Stedman’s as having a morbid fear of having an STD or the false belief of having an STD.

Confess! Could you do a little better?
And follow screening recs to the letter?
Hey, call me crazy–
But some docs are lazy–
So start screening and be a trend setter!

I preach condoms, but still they don’t buy it!
They stare blankly, respectfully quiet.
With the sex drive of rabbits
And prolific sex habits–
Our teens need a safer sex diet!

I’m going to go out on a limb
And share the mosquito news is grim.
CDC says, Eureka!
That rascally Zika,
Spreads by sex him-to-her and her-to-him.

It’s a tsunami of hepatitis B!
An infection prevented by vaccine.
Drug users high risk-
And risky sex (tsk, tsk)
Get vaccinated, why not? it’s free!

My inner STD princess is preening,
As my clinical obsession finds new meaning.
The news, it’s astounding!
Syphilis is abounding,
USPSTF calls for more screening!

Known by the famed moniker The Clap
Gonorrhea freely flows from the tap
Throat, anus and joints
This infection appoints
With drug resistance a worrisome trap.

Genital warts are more waning, less waxing
Could the scourge of HPV be relaxing?
Well, pull out that shot,
Immunize the lot!*
That vaccine makes our clinics less taxing.

For some it begins as a trickle,
Some men, when they pee, feel a tickle.
The symptoms, they vary,
So clinicians! be wary,
Trichomonas is capricious and fickle.

Dear Chlamydia, your timing’s not great,
But it sure was a fabulous date!
The fella looked clean
(if you know what I mean)
Perhaps PID’s just a matter of fate.

To tell you the truth, not being a prankster,
But what else beats a big juicy chancre?
With perhaps just a touch
Of distal urethral pus
Waiting at the end of an unguarded wanker

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